Pure exhaustion;
These last few days have been both a blessing, and a living hell. Someone close to me has been here for the past two weeks. It’s been an amazing time, even though parts of it have been rough. I wasn’t ready for them to leave just yet.
He was scheduled to fly out on Sunday. I was a mess, but I had myself under control. We drove to the airport in MS only to find out that his flight was cancelled. They rebooked his flight for the following day. I missed what should have been my first day at work, but that really turned out to not be a big deal at all. It was great having one more day.
The next day, we show up at the airport. I watch them walk through security, we said our goodbyes through the glass, and I went on my way. Day 2, I’m not prepared for any of that.. I’ll admit, I lost my shit. About 15 minutes from my house, he texts me. He ends up telling me that he walked off the plane. I still don’t know why.. All I’m told is that his newly scheduled flight is the following day, at 5:30 in the morning.That messed me up, pretty badly. So back to MS I went.
I didn’t sleep last night. I was thankful for the extra time, but this was too much. Three days, back to back, saying goodbye. Over and over. I didn’t sleep last night. We left at 3:45am this morning. I was exhausted this morning, sad and confused. We said our goodbyes, for the last time, and I was back on the road by 5:15am. I ended up driving into a ditch on the way home this morning. No one knows, and no one will, because there is no damage to the car, thank god.
I’m exhausted. I need sleep. I’m confused. Things were so great these past two weeks. Now, I feel them already slipping back into how they were. I’m tired of going into reverse. I’m not sure what else to do though. I’ve said everything I can think of, and made my point of view known. I’m lost, but I can’t just sit back and wait for something that might never happen. Even as I typed that, I don’t believe it.
So much has happened lately!
It seems like every time I make a post, it is random and a bit chaotic. Believe me, this one is no exception.
This last weekend was absolutely amazing and exhausting, to say the least. A friend and I drove 7.5 hours to Jacksonville, FL to attend Rockville. The drive was completely worth it. On a plus note, I now have a lovely farmer’s tan, which I’m digging. We met some pretty cool people and did a bunch of cool rock show shit. I shall list the bands that I saw now, because I feel like everyone should know. The best shows are in bold.
- All That Remains
- Asking Alexandria
- Halestorm
- Bullet For My Valentine
- Papa Roach
- Three Days Grace
- Stone Sour
- Limpbizkit
- Alice in Chains
- Nonpoint
- Saliva
- Saving Abel
- Steel Panther
- Hollywood Undead
- Filter
- Buckcherry
- Skillet
- Shinedown
- Lynyrd Skynyrd
I found out that my older brother and his wife, as well as my younger brother and his fiance, will be coming down to Florida in June for my daddy’s Air Force retirement. I know that will really make my daddy happy to have them there all the way from Ohio. It’ll be nice to have a majority of the family in one place again. Daddy also got some good news. He was approved to be a Air Force JROTC instructor. Now he just needs to choose a school. I’m really happy for him, because I know he was scared to “grow up”.
On another note, Coty will be here Thursday for two weeks. I’m so excited to see him again. It feels like forever! I want to do lots of cool shit while he’s down. Camp, fish, grill out, etc. On top of him getting here Thursday, my other younger brother will be here Friday for the weekend. The three of us will be going to a Colt Ford concert Friday night, and just chilling the rest of the weekend. Maybe head to the beach or something? We’ll see what the weather is up to. So excited.
School is almost over for the semester. This is the last week, before finals. I’m ready to be done, but I’m super nervous for finals, and final grades. This will be my worst semester yet.. I’m so disappointed in myself. Shit happens, though. I’ll improve next semester. All I can do is live and learn.
More to add!
My brother, Brandon, just asked his girlfriend to marry him, and she said yes!
I don’t even know how to feel right now. But I’m happy for them. (:
I apologize in advance for the rambling that is about to take place.
When looking through my blog, most of my text posts are about being unhappy, sad, depressed, confused, etc. Well, I would just like to talk about some good things that have been happening. Now, this is not to say that shitty things did not occur during this time as well, but I’m choosing to focus on the good, and only the good, for once.
This last week has been a crazy, hectic and overwhelming week, but it has paid off. I switched town houses this last week, and acquired two roommates. Sort of. They don’t officially move in until May. I’m really excited about it, actually. I was so closed off and alone in my old place, and I’m ready for that to change. Plus, I’m running low on funds. Regardless, things are going well on that front. The house is currently a wreck, with random boxes not unpacked and thrown in random corners, but we’ll get there.
This last weekend my momma, daddy, younger brother and I drove up to Ohio for my older brother’s wedding. We met a side of the family I never had before, and we got to meet my nephew for the first time! Definitely one of the highlights of the trip. The wedding and reception were fantastic. I made some new friends, and got a little ‘close’ with someone as well, but I’ll leave it at that. Between the drinking, dancing and overall experience of the weekend, I’m so glad that I went. I wouldn’t have it any other way. How good of a trip was it, you ask? I’m trying to make a trip back up there soon. But we’ll see.
Now I’m back in Alabama. School and work are about to consume my life again. I needed that break though. This semester hasn’t gone as I planned it to, and I’m actually really nervous that I won’t pass this semester. But I said I’d keep this upbeat and positive. So instead I’ll mention the fact that I’m going to work my ass off to try and turn this around, and just hope that it’s enough.
To make coming home even better, I fell asleep on FaceTime last night, which was wonderful and comforting.On another note, this weekend is Rockville in Florida with my best friend. I’m pretty fucking excited!
Every day that I am alive, is another chance to improve myself.
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you?
I feel so irrelevant.
I want to respectfully sexually destroy you.
We thought it would be a good idea to go swimming when it’s 60 degrees outside, because we’re that bad ass.
Last night was terrible;
I broke down. I gave in. I did something that I promised myself I wouldn’t do again.
This morning, I’m sleep deprived, but that’s nothing new. Everything hurts. My head feels like it has been caved in. My muscles feel exhausted from all of the shaking. My thighs, rib cage, and wrist hurt to.
Time heals everything, though. Right?
c0updevent asked: actually tho, might make a trip down that way before I go, depending on train / bus tickets 'cause planes are outta the question -_-
Really? That’d be awesome. It could be a little hectic, depending on when you’re trying to come down though. You’ll definitely have to give me dates in advance, because I’ll be out of town a lot for the month of April. Just let me know! (:
